Monday, November 14, 2011

If It ever becomes too much...

Jason and were talking one night, and I was just talking away about everything I have to do. (Without thinking of course) All of a sudden Jason said "Shannon, If it ever becomes too much for you, you just let me know". I think about what he said often, and It just breaks my heart. That is what made me write I love you more than enough, because I wanted him to know that I'd always be there right beside him, no matter what.

Being a "Caregiver" to Jason isn't HARD at all. All I have to do his drive line every night. All the other things I do pertaining to the LVAD is just because I love him and I want to make things easy for him. Now with that said what is hard is the EMOTIONAL side of everything. I worry about him CONSTANTLY, yes all the time. I hate when he goes places alone when I'm at work. Then again, I know I can't treat him like a child.

What I need to learn is when to step back( slowly but surely) Sometimes being his lover and his mother hen doesn't go over well. Everything I do and everything I say to Jason is out of love, but sometimes that may be hard to read. You also never want them to feel like they are not the one in control (thats a big thing)

Word to the wise:  "PICK YOUR BATTLES" If you encounter something small..let it slide, If its something big.. like gaining alot of extra fluid in a short time span..then drag them to the hospital, kicking and screaming if you have too. They will still love you in the end!

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