Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Insurance Waiting Game...

Since December we have been struggling to get Insurance for Jason. Because we assumed that he would be qualified to get insurance, and didn’t hear different.( problem one, don't assume!_  It was almost two months before we KNEW he didn’t have Insurance anymore. All the while the bills just have been adding up.

 Jason stopped going to appointments, because one appointment alone can cost up to 5K, And he already had upward 15K before we knew he didn’t have insurance.( this has been sooo scary)  All we can do is just pay a little each month. On top of that, since he was awarded Social Security now he has to pay back his LTD company . So,  all and all we have many “scheduled” monthly payments a month .  I know Jason gets down about everything, but I just tell him that we just have to send what we can.

BUT…. Bills is not what this post is suppose to be about, I guess it just snuck in there. We are currently waiting to hear back from PCIP. It is an insurance that covers people with pre-existing conditions.  We got denied once because we needed a denial letter from another insurance company. We did that ( of course that wasn’t hard..but took time..3 weeks to be exact!) and had to reapply again…and wait. Jason called yesterday and they said they were in the final stages, and he should be getting a letter soon. They couldn’t tell us anything else…

So much is riding on this, I Am praying and praying all goes well and goes through. Our payment will not be that bad, (a lot cheaper than Cobra that’s for sure.) I cant wait for the day that Jason will be off hold, and back to active on the transplant list!!!!  I think that would call for a party!!

The last number of months have just been like standing still, I have cried many tears, but it doesn’t help. I tried endlessly to fight for Jason and in MANY cases I was defeated. I couldn’t believe that because Jason has worked since he was 15, there was no help for him. It was shown numerous times its not about life or death…its about money.   In only ONE instance,  the company that provides his medical equipment and dressing agreed to not charge Jason until he has insurance again, and that was truly a blessing from God, that alone took so much weight off our shoulders.

Jason has managed  with money from his Social Security to pay out of pocket for his medications and his bi weekly INR checks at Lab Corp, but of course it leaves very little money to go towards the other monthly scheduled payments to MCV, LTD and others, but they get paid.( by the grace of God)
So again so much is riding on the hope that his insurance goes through. I just hate waiting, wondering what lies before us . I cant wait for Jason to be able to go to his regular appointments, so we can have the security somewhat that he’s doing good.

For those interested check out, maybe they can help your family also. You do have to be without Insurance for 6 months to qualify and You have to have a pre-existing condition. Good Luck..and prayers to all.

Thursday, July 19, 2012


I thought I’d write a post on things you may or may not know about me. We can always call it confessions of a LVADERS fiancĂ© if you will, so here goes:
·         Sometimes I have mad days when I feel like life isn’t fair to me or Jason
·         Sometimes I really hate the 20 foot cord! It couldn’t have been a LITTLE longer?
·         I have days that I am full of faith that Jason will be here with me forever and days that  I’m really scared about it. Now I do believe no matter if you have health problems or not, when its your time to go, you will.
·         If Jason ever left this world before me, my children would be my will to keep going . If they were gone and moved out with families of their own, then that would be really hard. I have cried to Jason before saying I don’t want to live this life without him, but I know deep down that’s wrong.
·         I feel guilty when I do things just for me
·         I often feel overwhelmed
        Sometimes get tired of fighting for what’s right for Jason
·         If I am talking about Jason and what I feel for him, I can cry on a drop of a dime no matter where we are. It is very embarrassing for me, but I can’t help it.
·         I am over the top passionate about Jason in every aspect.
·         I thank God every day that he sent the perfect man to me, so I would know what unconditional love felt like.
·         Sometimes I look at him while he’s sleeping, and he just looks like an angel. But sometimes I look at him and I feel so sad for him, but I know I should just be happy that he is still here beside me.
·         I think God often for bring angels into our lives, and I love that I always know who they are.
·          Sometimes I wish that I had a normal life, but then again who really does?
·         I feel like My friends and family can’t even begin to understand my life emotionally. I often feel like I can’t relate to their “normal” life.
·         I am so proud of Jason for getting an LVAD.
·         I thank God for giving me strength to fight for Jason. He also always give me the knowledge to ask the right questions.
·         I know that God is always with me…ALWAYS.
·         I have complete faith in God that he will send Jason a perfect heart in his time
·         I am so happy when I hear of our LVAD friends getting a heart, but its hard not to feel sad that
·          it‘s not Jason’s time yet. I can’t wait for that day. I will be scared of the unknown, but I’ll also be so happy I can’t even begin to express it with words.
·         I know the God has a plan laid out for Jason and I and because of that we will always trust him.
·         I know that there is always a reason of everything you do and every person you meet.

I talk to a few LVADers though email, but one has always given me tremendous strength and for that I am thankful. In an email not that long ago, I guess you could say I was feeling defeated and down and this is what he wrote back:
          …….There is a slight defeatism in your words…excuse me while I slap you…sorry about that but defeat is not an option. There will be no surrender . There is only better days ahead, try to maintain a warrior approach for you both and all the gang…Also a good mind set helps, even in the darkest hours for you both, just hold on embrace each other and stay strong for each other
I almost cried when I read those words, they were so powerful. …he is definitely one of the angels I was talking about… and its times like this that I know God is with me…

Monday, July 2, 2012

Power Down...Power Down!!!

Oh my Goodness did we have an eventful weekend! Oh …and I might add, not  a good one. Friday night was just like any other night. All of a sudden at 12:30 or so I hear Jason machine going off, the power had gone out! This was big because this was the first time this has happened since he received his LVAD.  Jason had stayed up. I knew we were on the list already with Dominion Virginia Power to get our power restored ASAP., but since the storm was still going on I knew our first thought was to get the generator ((that had been so generously donated to us)  Jason and his friend were busy getting the generator so when I came out to the screened in porch Jason was not where to be seen. My curtains where flying and I was trying to get everything down to avoid being blown over. About that time I hear the next door neighbors tree cracking, Im screaming for Jason (like  in the movies) finally after many screams and the next door neighbor tree falling halfway into out yard I see him and tell him the get inside. By the way…I am still hoarse!  Of course , In this whole madness Emma was still asleep, but I had manage to scare Austin half to death with my screams. Once Jason was in the house safely, I went and woke Emma since I was slowly finding out this wasn’t just a little storm.
Soon enough, Jason got the generator started and we were able to plug in  the Refrigerator , TV , Lamps, a fan and mostly importantly his batteries.  It did disappoint me however that our power was not restore until about 2:30 the next day.  The last few days it has been in the 100’s here. Although Jason was safe with his batteries being charged as we all know heat is not a good thing for him…Or the equipment.  Thankfully  though, the temperature in our house did not rise above 80 degrees downstairs. 
For future reference there are a few details that need to be set in place. Summer is a bad time for outages and so is winter, when your dealing with ice. So now that we know we cant really count on Dominion Virginia Power to get our power on as quickly is we may need it, we defiantly have to explore our other options, so It give us a lot to think about.   So the lesson is learned Prepare , Prepare, Prepare. So we will soon have to go out shopping to prepare for the next possible storm.  The main lesson?? Don’t count on anyone else to keep your family safe, It sad to say…but true.