Friday, October 28, 2011

Emotional Wreck.. May 2011

Once Jason was released, the weeks following were VERY emotional for me. I never cried much in front of Jason, and he was the same way. I tried my best to keep a “strong face” on at work, but that never worked out too good for me. We both decided that It would be better If he just lives with me, that way since my father lives with me it would always be someone there to keep an eye out for him. It helped out a lot because If I was ever scared because Jason hasn’t called or texted, I could call dad and ask him to check on him so It worked out very well.  I think it was about 2 days after he had gotten release from the hospital. We were in the living room watching TV,  Jason was rocking in the rocking chair and Emma and I were laying on the couch. Jason smiled at me and looked at Emma and then he said “ Emma’s not even going to remember me Shannon”. I didn’t say a word, although I felt like my heart had just been ripped out. That night after I put Emma to bed we sat in the living room together and I just lost it. Like not being able to catch your breath type of crying. . Jason said” Shannon we have to stay strong, we can’t do this”.  I know he doesn’t think of crying as a weakness well at least for a girl even though I’ve tried to convince him that It’s okay for a man to let go and just get at all out. I haven't cried like that since that night...well in front of him anyways...

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