New House...and Forgetting

Well, we are pretty much set up in the new house. I still have a few boxes to go through, then I don’t think I ever want to see another box. Around this time is where the fun will begin. All the decorating, and improvements..Yay..no really ..yay! Jason and I have had a bit of a cold the past week,. Mine was a little worse,but I’ll be so happy when we can feel back to our old selves again! Jason says when I’m sick get  grumpy..I don’t know what he’s talking about…But I know he gets like that! (don’t let him tell you otherwise!)

We set up the room so Jason would have plenty of room to get to the closet and bathroom but I have to say sometimes I wish the cord was 40ft instead! He can’t even reach Emmas room. Sometimes I hate that dang cord (to be honest) Once he’s plugged in there’s usually no switching back over ..unless the house was on fire or something like that…

Jasons little mancave is coming along. He’s already got the huge TV, and we actually found a dartboard at a yardsale a few weeks  ago, you would’ve thought we found gold. He loves that thing and everyone has had so much fun with it. One thing I love about Jason is he loves going to yard sales. We both love antiques and more times than not you can find some great antiques priced cheap, because people just don’t know what they have.

Jason was really good about keep everything pretty much in arms reach while in the moving process. Of course,  we did have to have a medicine hunt, but sometimes things like that happen when you have a lot of people helping. We do have a his and her sink in the master bathroom, so that’s where Jason chooses to do his driveline care..so of course I get to have my ironing board back solely for clothes now..yay!

I unpacked our swimsuits on Sunday, of my four to his one..Haha. The thought crossed my mind to put his swim trucks In the attic, but then faith came over me and  I thought no, my honey WILL be swimming with me before the end of summer! I thought to put it in the attic,, is like giving up hope so it will nicely lay right there beside mine, until he can use it. I have to say, when I was packing them up and yelling to the other room” honey I found your swim trucks”…thank goodness he didn’t hear me, I feel like a moron.

Jason will make jokes every once in a while, and really if you don’t pay attention, it goes over my head for a minute..well actually seconds. About a week ago Jason and I were running around the house (not literally) doing things and Jason said “oh honey wanna go take a shower together in our new house” of course I said oh yes and  in that small second I though oh that would be so nice again..and then DING DING ….reality… then a frown came to my face, Jason just started laughing I just said “ and I so wanted to take one with you!”   I know I can’t be the only one here though….does anyone else just forget sometimes???

New Home, Engaged and Awesome Friends...

Oh my goodness, I know I’ve been so bad! Along with daily life, sometimes my blogging has to take a back seat…for a little while at least. Well We closed on our home on May 4^th…Yay! Moving day ( or should I say days) was very stressful to say the least. We were so blessed to have a lot of our friends helping. Angela , Josh, Dj, Tammy, Francis, Melvin, Jamie, Jonathan and (at times) Austin.  We could not have done this without them, they were just awesome, to say the least. ) Oh ---and Jason and I are Engaged now!  I feel so honored to have him chose me to be his wife someday…yay!

I’ll be posting pictures of our home soon, we just got our internet hooked up yesterday! Yikes! Jason has been well, still doing really great. He even cut the grass yesterday! It wasn’t too hot outside, and he took breaks,  so I didn’t say anything. Any extra yard work or projects Jason wants to do he always has friends to help. He has surely been blessed with friends that love and care about him so much. oh-- and I have to tell you, Jason's favorite thing about the house???....he get's to have his man cave, minus the beer of course! As for me, I get the screened in porched...so excited about that. I can't wait to do little projects around the house when we get a little more settled. In my book the first thing on that list is paint, I can't stand white walls!

Happy Valentine's Day Honey!

On this Valentine’s Day, I will promise to love you forever…

On your LVAD sad days, I’ll do everything in my power to make you smile…

 On the days when you don’t feel like fighting, , I’ll fight for you…

On the days when there’s disappointment, I’ll remind you of the light at the end of the tunnel…

On the days when you get frustrated because you’re hooked to a twenty foot cord, I will tell you how happy I am that you are still here with me…

On the days when you’ve been strong long enough, I’ll be there to cry with you…

On the days when you feel broken, I’ll remind you that Gods watching over us…

On the days your feeling insecure, I’ll tell you how awesome you are…

On the days when life doesn’t seem fair, I’ll be there to hold you…

On the days that you don’t want to stand up for yourself, I’ll stand up for you…

On the days when you can’t find the words, I will be your voice…

As long as there is breath within me, I will always love you, and continue to honor

 you each  and every day of my life.

Happy Valentine's Day Sweetheart!

My Love Letter Pre LVAD Surgery...And Life Lessons..

Now I know what you're thinking, what does the love letter have to do with an LVAD blog...Well alot  because not only is this an LVAD blog, but it is also about our life and our love.

Today I wanted to share the importance of putting everything out there. If you are like me, sometimes I say it better on paper..or on a blog. I've gotten alot better though, Our relationship has gotten alot deeper since the LVAD surgery (and I love it)
 I've always been one those people that would regret words that had gone unsaid. I will add there are still people in my life that I have yet to say everything I want to to them ...but Jason is not one of them. The truth is sometimes its HARD to talk to people,( not Jason) thats when a letter is needed. That way you said everything, that is needed to be said, and what that person does with it is left up to them.

I've got to say, I've always been a sweet and tenderhearted person, but I never went out of my way to show strangers my true heart. Now, if they have impacted my life, I make sure to let them know no matter how awkward it makes me feel, Im always happy in the end. You never know how much something you say or do will impact someone elses life. Strangers that we have met that are so sweet, willing to offer advice, and truly care? They blow my mind each and every time, I have even be known to cry from an email a time or two.

I was given the impression as a child not to cry, and I still have I hard time when I just can't help it! I even apologized to Jason at a viewing this week, because I couldn't get "Strong" enough to stop. All he said was "It's ok Shannon" and just held my hand. Somehow, I have the mindset that cry is being weak, when it should only be letting others know you have a heart.

When Jason was in the hospital I was so scared a few days before his surgery, even though I knew God would be watching over him. I wrote him this letter so nothing would be left unsaid,( I knew if I started reading it myself, the flood gates were gonna open..)   ENJOY!

09/23/2011

Jason,

 I just wanted to write you a quick note, of encouraging words and of course love. I cannot believe that it has been almost a year in a half since “we” first began.OH MY GOSH! (can you hear me saying it…LOUD..?)  I still feel the same today, as I felt back then. You still give me butterflies, I still get nervous and our relationship never gets boring.

 I remember talking to you all night on the phone and knowing how lucky I was that we found each other again. Believe me,  I know we haven’t had the easiest road by any means, but our love conquered everything that anyone or anything threw at us.  There were plenty of times that we could’ve turn our back on one another, but It says a lot for us… that we never did.

I love so many things about us. The best thing, beside our love… is our laughter. I love laughing with you, and I love the way you hold on to me when you laugh. I love being close to you. I could never get close enough, or kiss you enough.  I know… I’m greedy right?

I could never imagine a life without you. You are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about when I close my eyes at night (even though you’re right there!) I know I sound like the movies..but you complete me. I have everything I’ve always wanted with you.. and yes I mean everything . There’s no way for you to ever know how much love is in my heart for you.

I know we have a long, exciting, scary road ahead of us, but I am so ready for it. Yes, there may be days that things seem unfair..and it is, but we are blessed in so many other ways. How many people do you know that have the love that we have? Its sad to say, but not many.  I’ll be there to help you, to comfort you, to cry with you, to be happy with you and to cheer you on, every step of the way.

 That’s all for now, just don’t ever doubt my love for you, even for a minute.  I am honored to call you my boyfriend, and I feel like the luckiest girl in the world  each and every day with you by my side.

All my love,  Shannon

                                                                                                       

Sex & Intimacy with an LVAD

Yes...That's right I'm going there!  I'm sure its one of those things on every one's mind, but no one asks. I will add that I did have reservations about posting this, but the truth is I'm sure that there are plenty of people are wondering about this..so wonder no more.

After Jason got the LVAD implanted, I was embarassed to ask his doctor when we could make love again..( I know, I'm silly...but I bet I'm not the first!)
 Let me be the first to tell you I was terrified to have sex with Jason after the LVAD.(..and he wasn't scared at all!)  I was so scared I was going to hurt him, or move too quick..or worse get hung up in his equipment! ( none of these things ended up happening!)

 The best thing I can tell you is to listen to your partner and they will let you know when they are ready. Now, the first initial time having sex might be a little awkward,  It is going to be a little different, but you learn to try different things to make it easy as possible.

 I always make a point to always love on Jason. I never wanted him to think for one minute that he wouldn't be attractive to me anymore after the LVAD. I always tell him how much I love his body..Scars and Driveline included! I thought our relationship was strong before..but now it has reach a whole new level..and I love it!If anyone has any other questions feel free to email me at ourlifeourlovehislvad@gmail.com!